Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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