I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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