I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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