I think I died a long time ago.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
