Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
