my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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