for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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