it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just invented taco cereal.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
