The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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