a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
