What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
