If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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