i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
