Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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