Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
