So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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