I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
