we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
