Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
