i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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