just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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