I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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