Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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