ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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