what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
