I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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