new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
