Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
