I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
