Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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