and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
