your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
