I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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