I love black thongs
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
