I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He better not be in your backpack
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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