ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
