bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
