He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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