Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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