My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
