You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
