I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
