Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
