dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
