He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
