I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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