I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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