i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
