My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
