she was so not down for the gang bang
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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