everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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