What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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