oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
